First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize