Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize