So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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