Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
This toilet bowl is my home.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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