nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
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Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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