They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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