I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
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