So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize