some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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