the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
nutella sex= disaster
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
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at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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