Texts From Last Night

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  (254): View more from Texas

  Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.

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  (254): Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social. http://tfl.nu/292p
  Replies (5) Good night (1919) Bad night (407) Order T-Shirt
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.

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  (704): Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning. http://tfl.nu/47ow
  Replies (7) Good night (2602) Bad night (1029) Order T-Shirt
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  (210): View more from Texas

  life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.

  (210): View more from Texas

  i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.

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  (210): life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass" (570): hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge. (210): i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you. http://tfl.nu/8941
  Replies (23) Good night (5466) Bad night (1637)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day

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  (912): i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day http://tfl.nu/5rbo
  Replies (29) Good night (5622) Bad night (964) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...

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  (570): I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons... http://tfl.nu/4olw
  Replies (10) Good night (3630) Bad night (1051) Order T-Shirt
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  (925): View more from California

  I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows

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  (925): I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows http://tfl.nu/02lq
  Replies (9) Good night (3855) Bad night (644) Order T-Shirt
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  (315): View more from New York

  They're like penises that have been put in a blender.

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  (315): They're like penises that have been put in a blender. http://tfl.nu/9hz0
  Replies (25) Good night (573) Bad night (5101) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.

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  (215): you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger. http://tfl.nu/jxnv
  Replies (16) Good night (3369) Bad night (3690) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  You made eat vitamins until I threw up

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  (303): You made eat vitamins until I threw up http://tfl.nu/o1t5
  Replies (9) Good night (697) Bad night (3277) Order T-Shirt
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers

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  (615): i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers http://tfl.nu/7wrv
  Replies (5) Good night (2994) Bad night (692) Order T-Shirt
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.

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  (913): You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals. http://tfl.nu/ise6
  Replies (9) Good night (4275) Bad night (1048) Order T-Shirt
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.

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  (828): YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN. http://tfl.nu/nkzr
  Replies (2) Good night (1796) Bad night (1022) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."

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  (330): Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control." http://tfl.nu/dz9s
  Replies (12) Good night (1561) Bad night (480) Order T-Shirt
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."

  (1-208): View more from Idaho

  My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."

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  (208): It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate." (1-208): My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time." http://tfl.nu/9ozo
  Replies (3) Good night (1021) Bad night (420)
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  (408): View more from California

  I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit

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  (408): I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit http://tfl.nu/wxxo
  Replies (1) Good night (199) Bad night (420) Order T-Shirt

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