Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
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I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
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I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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