just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize