you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize