even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
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I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize