you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize