At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize