we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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