the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
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