Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
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I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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