Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
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