Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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