Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
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Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
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All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
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