why didn't you poke me back
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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