By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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