The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
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