it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I am not eating basil off your cock
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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