OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
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