I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize