I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
He passed out mid-signature
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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