Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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