it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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