Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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