he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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