Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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