how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize