I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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