i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
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What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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