Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize