Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
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Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
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this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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