apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize