there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
This couple is walking their pig around campus
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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