I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize