Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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