the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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