Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Randomize