remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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