You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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