We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy sore nipples Batman
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize