last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
You had me at "let me see your balls"
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize